It’s Time to Go
January 11, 2013 § 2 Comments
A few people have told me to have a good trip in the last few weeks. I appreciate the sentiment, but I don’t think the word “trip” appropriately describes what it is I’m about to do.
When someone goes on a trip, in my mind, they intend to come back. I’m not coming back. I’m relocating, though I can’t stay away from the Midwest forever. I predict I’ll return more than once.
Three months ago, I almost talked myself out of doing something this drastic. I was convinced that the self-confidence I’d gained during my travels had slipped away. Then I became fed up with second-guessing myself and bought a plane ticket to Portland.
I’ve resolved to do whatever it takes to make a life for myself in Portland. The prospect of having to support myself in an unfamiliar setting doesn’t intimidate me. It won’t be easy. To be blunt, it might really suck at times. No matter. I want to embrace this experience in its entirety, even the unpleasant parts.
As I attempted to cram my belongings (or, most of them) into two suitcases and a worn-out duffel bag yesterday, it occurred to me that I wasn’t nervous. Not even in the slightest. I was happy. I felt exactly the same way when I left Europe. When I trust my own instincts, it inspires confidence in me.
I know that this is what I’m supposed to do.